Emotional Clearing Techniques that Lighten My Heart

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These are my favourite go-to practices. They work amazingly well for me, and they are fast and effective. My heart feels lighter every time I use them, and, over time, they have also released chronic autoimmune diseases from my body.

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Techniques for Finding Calm and Centeredness

1. Heart Coherence

I initially use heart coherent meditation when I am emotionally distressed or in conflict with another.

Here are the instructions for the heart coherence technique:
https://www.heartmath.org/resources/heartmath-tools/heartmath-appreciation-tool-and-exercises/

There are more heart coherence techniques here: https://www.heartmath.org/resources/heartmath-tools/

It has been shown that heart coherent meditation correlates with vagal tone. Vagal tone has been shown to calm most of the body’s internal organ systems that operate on a largely subconscious level, such as the heart, lungs, eyes, glands and digestive tract. It has also been shown to reduce inflammation.

(Study about inflammation can be found here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4476948/)

(Another study on generating deep feelings of appreciation and compassion here: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/forget-survival-of-the-fittest)

My personal experience with heart coherence:

• My body relaxes
• I feel calmer and in control
• I find that I am more resilient throughout the rest of the day

2. Ha Breathing

In Hawaii, the word “Ha” refers to the breath, or the breath of life. The Ha breathing technique can help you to refocus and relax.

• Breathe in through the nose, using your diaphragm to fill your lungs.
• Then exhale completely through the mouth, softly breathing the word “Haaaa”.
• Exhale completely, engaging your solar plexus.
• Count while inhaling and exhaling, and let the out-breath be twice as long as the in-breath. (For example, breathe in through the nose for a count of four, and breathe out for a count of eight.)

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

Then I use the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to ease my emotional distress or my reaction to challenging situations.

This technique encourages love, appreciation and acceptance of all the reactions you are experiencing, and love, appreciation and acceptance for yourself, just as you are.

http://tappingforkids.weebly.com/complete-tapping.html

(My son and I created this website for his school’s passion project 🙂)

Or if I can’t do the Complete EFT sequence for some reason, I do the Quick Tapping sequence by just tapping on the finger points.

http://tappingforkids.weebly.com/quick-tapping.html

I also use the Complete or Quick Tapping sequences as needed, for any discordant emotional reaction or feelings of tension that pop up during the day or night. I also tap if I notice myself slipping back into victimhood, or into another unhelpful archetypal role (roles like slave, martyr, etc.)

Forgiveness Techniques

A few years ago, I also focused on techniques for forgiving myself, asking forgiveness of others, and forgiving others. I spent hours upon hours over many months, clearing over and over, until I could no longer locate any obvious areas that needed forgiveness. These techniques were a combination of the Complete or Quick Tapping Sequence, Ho’oponopono, and flowing mental imagery/visualisation (dreaming while awake).

1. Forgiving Self:

Use the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence with the statement:

“Even though I [feel ashamed…, or hate myself for…, etc.], I totally and completely love, appreciate and forgive myself.”

Keep going until you feel a ‘shift’, and can no longer locate the shame/self-hatred/etc.

(* I usually experience a ‘shift’ as a large, refreshing yawn. This yawn can also trigger large tears to emerge from my eyes. It also seems to me that something lifts from my heart. My heart feels lighter, and I feel more peaceful.)

It may help to write a list of all your memories that trigger feelings of shame, self-blame, embarrassment, self-anger, etc. so you can work through all of them.

Forgive yourself as much as you can before moving on to asking forgiveness of others and forgiving others.

2. Asking Forgiveness of Others:

This technique utilises the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence, a visualisation of the other person and Ho’oponopono, which is a Hawaiian forgiveness process.

(More information here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201105/the-hawaiian-secret-forgiveness)

While tapping, and visualising the other person, feel and state, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

When a shift is felt, feel and state, “Thank you. I love you.”

Again, it may help to write a list of all your memories that trigger feelings of shame, self-blame, embarrassment, etc. so you can work through all of them.

Ask forgiveness of others as much as you can before moving on to forgiving others.

3. Forgiving others:

This technique is a flowing visualisation with the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence, to help with blockages.

The techniques begin by visualising the other person…

1. Imagine a spark in your own heart, and see it grow into a beautiful ball of light surrounding you. Then visualise the other person at a comfortable distance in front of you. Notice their darkness and shame. Imagine a spark in their heart. Allow the spark to grow. (If you have trouble with this visualisation, tap with the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence.) When the spark grows to surround them, move towards them with your own light and merge the two lights with love.
2. If you have trouble with the first technique, imagine the other person as an innocent, young child, and try again.
3. See if you can find another visualisation that works for you. Go into a flowing dream state with the intention to find a path to the best way to forgive. Use tapping for any emotions that come up. Be gentle with yourself.

This is another time when it may help to write a list of all your memories that trigger feelings resentment, anger, etc. towards another person or group of people so you can work through all of them.

4. Expression of your Inner Child:

Another aspect of Forgiving, is allowing your Inner Child to speak. Your Inner Child needs to express long-buried emotions, including rage, anger, frustration, sadness, and disappointment.

As each of these emotions are let out one by one, use Complete or Quick Tapping to:

• forgive yourself for having those emotions,
• forgive the person who your inner child blames for those emotions,
• and perhaps use Ho’oponopono to ask forgiveness of the other person (for example, suppressed anger may have been expressed subconsciously over many years)

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Keep using all of these processes as things come up in your daily life. If you wish, it can become a natural part of your day. It certainly is a natural part of my day 🙂

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Reflection work

I also use a turnaround statements when I notice myself judging or blaming someone else. I do this because I understand that my life experiences are purely a reflection of my own beliefs, expectations, etc.

When I have a negative thought about another person (for example, “My friend doesn’t listen to me about how I am feeling”), I use the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence to calm my emotional reaction.

Then I observe my thought, and turn it around:

1. to the self. (For example, “I don’t listen to myself about how I am feeling.”)
2. to the other. (“I don’t listen to my friend about how he is feeling.”)
3. to the opposite. (“My friend does listen to me about how I am feeling.”)

Then I try to find an example about how each turnaround is true for me in this situation. Then I ask for forgiveness of the other person with the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence until I feel a shift.

While tapping, feel and state, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” When a shift is felt, feel and state “Thank you. I love you.”

If I can’t find any example of how the turnaround statement is true for me, I use the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence with the extended version of Ho’oponopono:

“Divine creator, father, mother, son as one … If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions in all directions of time … I’m sorry. Please forgive me. … Thank you. I love you.”

Byron Katie offers more tools for reflection work here:

http://thework.com/en/tools-do-work

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I hope you find these practices helpful, and that they work as well for you as they do for me ❤️

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