These are my favourite go-to practices. They work amazingly well for me, and they are fast and effective. My heart feels lighter every time I use them, and, over time, they have also released chronic autoimmune diseases from my body.
Techniques for Finding Calm and Centeredness
1. Heart Coherence
I initially use heart coherent meditation when I am emotionally distressed or in conflict with another.
Here are the instructions for the heart coherence technique:
There are more heart coherence techniques here: https://www.heartmath.org/resources/heartmath-tools/
(Study about inflammation can be found here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4476948/)
(Another study on generating deep feelings of appreciation and compassion here: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/forget-survival-of-the-fittest)
My personal experience with heart coherence:
My body relaxes
I feel calmer and in control
I find that I am more resilient throughout the rest of the day
2. Ha Breathing
- Breathe in through the nose, using your diaphragm to fill your lungs.
- Then exhale completely through the mouth, softly breathing the word “Haaaa”.
- Exhale completely, engaging your solar plexus.
- Count while inhaling and exhaling, and let the out-breath be twice as long as the in-breath. (For example, breathe in through the nose for a count of four, and breathe out for a count of eight.)
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
I also use the Complete or Quick Tapping sequences as needed, for any discordant emotional reaction or feelings of tension that pop up during the day or night. I also tap if I notice myself slipping back into victimhood, or into another unhelpful archetypal role (roles like slave, martyr, etc.)
1. Forgiving Self: Use the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence with the statement:
(* I usually experience a ‘shift’ as a large, refreshing yawn. This yawn can also trigger large tears to emerge from my eyes. It also seems to me that something lifts from my heart. My heart feels lighter, and I feel more peaceful.)
It may help to write a list of all your memories that trigger feelings of shame, self-blame, embarrassment, self-anger, etc. so you can work through all of them.
Forgive yourself as much as you can before moving on to asking forgiveness of others and forgiving others.
2. Asking Forgiveness of Others:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201105/the-hawaiian-secret-forgiveness) While tapping, and visualising the other person, feel and state, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” When a shift is felt, feel and state, “Thank you. I love you.” Again, it may help to write a list of all your memories that trigger feelings of shame, self-blame, embarrassment, etc. so you can work through all of them.
Ask forgiveness of others as much as you can before moving on to forgiving others.
3. Forgiving others:
Imagine a spark in your own heart, and see it grow into a beautiful ball of light surrounding you. Then visualise the other person at a comfortable distance in front of you. Notice their darkness and shame. Imagine a spark in their heart. Allow the spark to grow. (If you have trouble with this visualisation, tap with the Complete or Quick Tapping sequence.) When the spark grows to surround them, move towards them with your own light and merge the two lights with love.
If you have trouble with the first technique, imagine the other person as an innocent, young child, and try again.
See if you can find another visualisation that works for you. Go into a flowing dream state with the intention to find a path to the best way to forgive. Use tapping for any emotions that come up. Be gentle with yourself.
4. Expression of your Inner Child:
forgive yourself for having those emotions,
forgive the person who your inner child blames for those emotions,
and perhaps use Ho’oponopono to ask forgiveness of the other person (for example, suppressed anger may have been expressed subconsciously over many years)
Keep using all of these processes as things come up in your daily life. If you wish, it can become a natural part of your day. It certainly is a natural part of my day 🙂
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Then I observe my thought, and turn it around:
to the self. (For example, “I don’t listen to myself about how I am feeling.”)
to the other. (“I don’t listen to my friend about how he is feeling.”)
to the opposite. (“My friend does listen to me about how I am feeling.”)
“Divine creator, father, mother, son as one … If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions in all directions of time … I’m sorry. Please forgive me. … Thank you. I love you.”
Byron Katie offers more tools for reflection work here: http://thework.com/en/tools-do-work